Sunday, October 4, 2015

"The Heartache of the first Heartbreak"
     - Devy Ann N. Agnes -

I was so heartbroken that time,
You left my  heart like a star without shine.
Tears were always falling from my eyes,
Because you left my heart like a frozen ice.

You,ve cause a lot of pain to me,
That makes me sad and unhappy.
Trying to win you back to me,
But I can't for I know, don't love you me!

I want to forget you.
Because there,sno sense of loving too!
I hate to tell you this,
But..." thanks for breaking my heart and treating it like a shit! "

           Love, Love, LOve. Love is really unpredictable. Yesterday, I was smiling and now look at me, my heart turned out into broken pieces. Being inlove is a great feeling. You tend to feel the joy and everything yet being inlove is not that easy. Why? When you're inlove always expect that you might get hurt. Pain is the hardest and worst feeling of all. Don't want to feel the pain? Don't ever love again.
           Hi, I'm just a 16 year old teen and I can say that atleast, I've experience this what they call LOVE. Let me share you my story.He first graduated but we've studied at the saame school during our Highschool days. I don't know if he already knew me before, but I guess he doesn't. A kind of guy like him will never notice a girl like me.
          At present, I am a freshman college student here at Central Bicol State University  of Agriculture. During the orientation, I was surprised and shocked to see him most especially when he performed an intermission number for us. I'm quite surpised and really amaze when I saw him dancing a robotic dance.I admired the way he dance. It was all about admiration. It never sinked on my mind that I'll be falling inlove with him for the fact that I hate him. He courted my clasmate then suddenly he reject my classmate,dumped her like nothing happened. I found out that he's a member of CPAG organization and currently taking Veterenary Medicine. He's already a second year college student. At facebook. That's where it all started. We're fb friends. I am the person who's fond of taking selfies and I usually post it. He commented on one of my pictures and I replied to him. I also made a comment on his photos. One night, August 29, 2015 he chatted me asking If he can be my friend. Ofcourse, I told him why not. We both came at the samee school so why can't we. Then after that he asked for my phone number. Without realizing why he asked for it, I gave it  to him, ofcourse we're  schoolmate during highschool.
        He immediately texted me the moment I gave him my number.We texted each other 24/7. We usually talked about our past lives our highschool lives to be exact. August 31, 2015 he suddenly texted me that he want to court on me. I just laugh at him and said " Hahaha. I don't believe in text messages and I don't want anymore court me on text only". Then he told me that he's serious and that he will talk to me personally. Still, I continue laughing at him. I know that he's just having a good time that time. September 1, 2015 he had an accident at the motorcycle, so it was really imposible for him to go here and talk to me. Although Buhi is a far place, he doesn't rent a boarding house insted he always go home at their house at Buhi. September 3, 2015 Wednesday, second day of intrams. He texted me that he's on his way to CBSUA. I'm quite shocked. I know he's not yet feeling well that time. So I don't believed at him until I saw him approaching towards us (I'm with my classmates). He asked me to have a snack with him. I resist. I was a bit shy at that time but he insist. Because I don't to argue with him, I agree. While eating, he keep on talking about his life. I also found that he and my brother are close friends (both Korean and DOTA addict). I'm a bit surprise. I didn't imagine everything. I can't hardly eat my food because he keep on looking at me (OhmyGod! My face that time was so HAGGARD!). He's the one who shoulder the expenses for our  foods.After eating, we went to covered court. We watch the basketball game. When we got bored that time, he asked me to go at the atrium. At the atrium,there I met his classmates. That time the weather is so hot. We do not have a fan so he get his notebook and he continue to fan on me until the table tennis game ended(Kinikilig na ako that time!Hahaha). On our way to the cafeteria, due to the hot weather, he put on my head his cup and told me that I should always bring an umbrella and avoid staying under the sun without any cover on my head. We continue to walk, until he stop and look at my eyes and told me " do you believe me now that  I'm really serious on you?". That line made me mute. I really can't say a word. After a moment of silence. I just laugh then told him "I guess". We spent the entire afternoon together. Happy, overjoyed and great thats what I felt.
        He courted me. September 7, 2015 after the English period. He told me that he was at the stage field and asked me to go there. I went at him. We chitchat or a litte time then we went to my boarding house where he met my boardmates (Siya yan? Oh my devs! Yan ung magaling sumaayaw!-Reaction of my bmates). We also had our snack together. That day was another day to remember. Sadly, I didn'tht expect that it will be the last. Everything change after that time. That night, he dosn't even bother to text me until morning. At around 9:00 am, I send him a groupmessage "Huwag ka ng  umasa tanga!" thats what I wrote. That message wasn't really intended for him. Seriously. At 10:00, he texted me "Ako ba pinatatamaan mo?" I told him no, but his reaction was different. I tried to explain but he didn't even bother to listen insted  he texted me "Okey lang naman mabasted. sabihin mo lang kung ayaw mo na.Kung iniisip mo na pinagtitripa lang kita mali ka. mag eeffort ba ako kung hindi ako seryoso? Buti pa taapusin na natin to." That message made me cry. I tried to change his mind but its useless. He caused so much pain to me. I didn't my lunch and dinner that day. I was so affected of what had haappen.
        The day after that was our Presentation of "Dekalogo ng Wikang Pambansa". I was the first one to perform and I failed.  I didn't even finish it (Lutang na lutang ako that time). Everytime I open my mouth, I tend to forgot what Im going to say because his messages are the one entering my mind. The worst is, on my way to the bhouse that day, I saw him.  Nervous. I felt  weak that time (Yung biglang nanlambot tuhod mo na namutla ka na kulang nalaang mahimatay. hayyy. buti naalalayan ako ng friends ko). Everytime I saw him that scenario happen all over again.
         As of now, we're still friends. We still do have communication. Although it really hurts, I'm slowly managing myself to move forward and forget everything. Honestly, everytime "magkatext kami" the feelings of mine are coming back but I'm learning to control it.
         At the end of the day, no matter how much pain you've gain you're going to realize that it was all GOd's plan, maybe to teach you a lesson for you to learn on. Experiencing the pain and being broken is a part of loving. How can you tell you've love seriously if you didn't experience the pain? We just have to choose the right and deserving person to love. Always remember,  every story has a happy ending,If you're not happy then it's not yet the end.

P.S. Hi :) Thank you for the broken heart.Thank you for the pain. Now I learned. Don't worry someday, I'll be able to look again in your eyes without any regret that you left me, that you just dumped me like a trash.

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